Chapter 4: Island Goggles

Just because I'm white doesn't mean I look like every other white person alive. Just because I'm white doesn't mean I'm related to every other white person who lives in Guam. And just because I'm white doesn't mean I can't dance...on second thought...

Anyway, that's not my point.

My physical appearance is somewhat of an oddity here in Guam. I'm taller than about 80% of the student population at my school, some students can't fathom why I'm so white if I'm from a hot place, and many have told me I look like Taylor Swift.

Which leads me to wonder if they even know who Taylor Swift is.

This is Taylor Swift.

This is me.

I get that we're both tall and have long hair, but the similarities end there. While I'm flattered they chose Taylor Swift to be my celebrity look alike, I think they have lived on an island too long and suffer from *Island Goggle Syndrome.

I have more proof.

One day Baldo covered a news story at my school and was seen by a few of my students. Later in class said students asked if the guy with the microphone was my husband. Upon confirming their suspicions they then told me that he looked like Tony Hawk. Other students in the class agreed with this statement which also leads me to wonder if they know who Tony Hawk is.

This is Tony Hawk.

This is Baldo.

Besides the fact that they are both male I don't see many resemblances between the two. These mismatched comparisons are sure indicators of IGS. Researchers are still scrambling to find a cure to stop this insanity.

*Island Goggle Syndrome: a condition impairing the brain's ability to successfully distinguish physical features of persons not native to one's island.