Housewives of Guam

One word perfectly describes the last nine and a half weeks of my life- unemployment.

I read, I cleaned, I cooked, I shopped, I unpacked, I organized, I dreamed and I made important decisions.

I became a legit housewife.

I've considered petitioning Bravo to bring their drama-packed reality show to Guam.

Here is my resumè:

I make scrumptastic cake balls. You can't have just one.

I wash dishes by hand.

I'm a skilled beach bum.

I only eat high quality cuisine.

Following the steps of former "Housewives" I plan on releasing my first album. Shocked to find out I could sing? You're not the only one...

And like any singing power-couple the hubster and I would perform a duo. Soon you'll hear our names tossed around like Jay-Z and Beyoncè; Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood.

Passion? I've got it.

Kids in the neighborhood call me Chef Boyardee.

I'm always up for a workout.

Hopefully ABC will invite me to participate on DWTS. I have a mean lasso move.

I also try to make the world a more beautiful place...one person at a time.

How can Bravo pass up this plethora of material?