Tales of a Scooter Sass

I think my bad luck started when I woke up this morning and found a gecko scurrying across my kitchen floor. It was an omen...I should have known.

On my way to school I passed by a dead dog. Gross, gross, gross. If my misfortune had ended there, the day would have been considered a success.

But if my misfortune had ended there I would not have written this post.

Lauren's Scary Scooter Story

My story is based on five true events.

Event #1

After grading a six-inch high pile of papers (progress reports are due Wednesday) I finally started my journey home. I rounded the first corner and remembered the dead dog I saw earlier this morning. Enter paranoia. I felt uncomfortable driving by the dog without the protection of an enclosed car because I knew it would be surrounded by flies. Convincing myself not to looked failed, and no sooner were my eyes glued to the putrid scene. The dead dog was still there, but so were about a hundred nasty flies. I managed to pry my eyes away from the dog just in time to dodge a horse fly that probably would have knocked me off my scooter if it hit me.

Event #2

Thanking my lucky stars I continued driving on the windy road until I spotted some stray dogs a short distance ahead. I wanted to do everything in my power to prevent another road side fly feast, so I positioned my thumb over my scooter horn ready to sound it if needed. The dogs stayed out of my way, thankfully, but a few moments later I lost myself in deep thought and forgot my thumb was on the horn. Then for some unknown, unintelligible reason my thumb pushed down on the horn startling me to the point of almost falling off my scooter.

Event #3

With my heart racing I zoomed into the jungle canopy and started noticing how windy it was. Naturally this lead me to think about the probability of a snake falling from the trees directly onto my head. Out of nowhere something fell and hit me right on my chest! Maybe it was a huge leaf, a butterfly, or a flying squirrel? It fell so fast my chest felt it before my eyes saw it.

Event #4

Certain that I had seen the worst of my drive home I turned up the hill towards my street. A few yards ahead I saw a man walking a dog on a leash followed by, yet again, another stray dog. As I passed the trio the stray dog wheeled around and started chasing me! If we had been on a flat road that dog would have eaten my scooter dust. Sadly for me, my scooter maxes out at a whoppin' 10mph uphill...so did the dog. In case you didn't know, I am not a huge fan of dogs. I was sure my life was ending at that moment, but my trusty thumb once again found its way to the horn and blasted the dog off my trail. Once more, a crisis was averted.

And finally,

Event #5

Surely I was out of harm's way. Or so I thought. I scoot-scooted my way to the back of our house timid and shaken. All that was left of my journey was to park my scooter on the back porch. But after all the excitement from the fly feast, awkward horn blow, falling unidentified object, and dog chase, my motor skills were impaired. I rode up the ramp and ran my moped right into the wash basin! I definitely won't tell you that I also almost ran into the water heater. Now my candy-apple-red scooter bears an ugly white blemish; a scar that tells the story of Lauren's scary scooter ride.